Thursday, June 12, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Do whites need training before parenting black children?
Do whites need training before parenting black children?http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/27/tranracial.adoption.ap/index.html
Today I read this....
My thoughts
I just noticed the article on CNN.
I am mortified that this is even an item of discussion by our society. In situations where sadly children are even in the foster care system to began with I think it is disgusting that this is what the focus is.
One, how obsurd to hold onto the fact that you didn’t know how to fix your hair when you were younger. My mother who is white and grew up in her own family - had curly hair that people used to refer to as ‘black’ hair, noone taught her how to fix it. They were poverty stricken and she instead focused on more important things - like caring for her siblings. In turn she didn’t teach my older sister how to fix her hair either. But my older sister learned, as a parent I know it isnt possible to teach my own daughter everything. I am going to miss something, it's inevitable... and if I instead strive to be her only influence how will she ever grow into her own person.
Two, my family adopted my sister from South Korea, so race if it is an issue needs to be addressed from all spectrums not just the white and black. My sister lacks the culture of her heritage as well - the only being or beings at fault for her loss of that knowledge are her biological parents. How obsurd to suggest that the adoptive parents are at fault for the lack of culture in the child’s life. My parents aren’t Korean - obviously they know that - but they are willing to offer their love, their support, their home and their heart to care for a child that is in need of these things. Now as my sister has grown, she’s blossomed into a beautiful person - she may have struggled at times to fit in LIKE EVERY CHILD DOES AT ONE POINT IN THEIR LIFE, but my parents have gone above and beyond to fill in for that fact, the fact that they aren’t Koren. We have friends and family with others that have choosen to adopt children from Korea and/or Asia, we are apart of an organization that celebrates the asian history and tradition throughout the year, my sister took classes to learn the Korean language, the adoptive agency holds camps for the adoptive children as well to talk with one another - not about their race - but about their struggle from being adopted as a whole. You see every child lacks something depending on their perspective - even the children you bring into this world by birth. My parents took my sister to Korea to learn more and meet her birth mother as well, we currently have a South Korean exchange student living in our house at the moment that is close in age to my sister.
My parents know they aren’t Korean, they know they would never be able to give her culturally what her biological parents could - like other families who adopt outside their race know they aren’t the same as their child's biological parents.
However my parents offered her more then her biological parents did, they offered her a home, a family, love and support and encouragement and opportunity. The opportunity to be more, to be better, better then how she was unfortunately treated when she was a baby, abandoned.
How incredibly absurd to make race a divide for people who are trying to care for the ones that need it the most. I won’t even get into what people might say about multi-racial couples who have children, like the fact that my husband is mexican and my daughter is half white and half mexican.
Am I required to take a class?
Today I read this....
My thoughts
I just noticed the article on CNN.
I am mortified that this is even an item of discussion by our society. In situations where sadly children are even in the foster care system to began with I think it is disgusting that this is what the focus is.
One, how obsurd to hold onto the fact that you didn’t know how to fix your hair when you were younger. My mother who is white and grew up in her own family - had curly hair that people used to refer to as ‘black’ hair, noone taught her how to fix it. They were poverty stricken and she instead focused on more important things - like caring for her siblings. In turn she didn’t teach my older sister how to fix her hair either. But my older sister learned, as a parent I know it isnt possible to teach my own daughter everything. I am going to miss something, it's inevitable... and if I instead strive to be her only influence how will she ever grow into her own person.
Two, my family adopted my sister from South Korea, so race if it is an issue needs to be addressed from all spectrums not just the white and black. My sister lacks the culture of her heritage as well - the only being or beings at fault for her loss of that knowledge are her biological parents. How obsurd to suggest that the adoptive parents are at fault for the lack of culture in the child’s life. My parents aren’t Korean - obviously they know that - but they are willing to offer their love, their support, their home and their heart to care for a child that is in need of these things. Now as my sister has grown, she’s blossomed into a beautiful person - she may have struggled at times to fit in LIKE EVERY CHILD DOES AT ONE POINT IN THEIR LIFE, but my parents have gone above and beyond to fill in for that fact, the fact that they aren’t Koren. We have friends and family with others that have choosen to adopt children from Korea and/or Asia, we are apart of an organization that celebrates the asian history and tradition throughout the year, my sister took classes to learn the Korean language, the adoptive agency holds camps for the adoptive children as well to talk with one another - not about their race - but about their struggle from being adopted as a whole. You see every child lacks something depending on their perspective - even the children you bring into this world by birth. My parents took my sister to Korea to learn more and meet her birth mother as well, we currently have a South Korean exchange student living in our house at the moment that is close in age to my sister.
My parents know they aren’t Korean, they know they would never be able to give her culturally what her biological parents could - like other families who adopt outside their race know they aren’t the same as their child's biological parents.
However my parents offered her more then her biological parents did, they offered her a home, a family, love and support and encouragement and opportunity. The opportunity to be more, to be better, better then how she was unfortunately treated when she was a baby, abandoned.
How incredibly absurd to make race a divide for people who are trying to care for the ones that need it the most. I won’t even get into what people might say about multi-racial couples who have children, like the fact that my husband is mexican and my daughter is half white and half mexican.
Am I required to take a class?
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